I Was A “Fat” Person That Prayed For Transformation

September 16, 2014
 

If you want to change, you have to be radically honest about your situation. “My Earth Suit grew into this larger-than-expected image and that is okay. I am a beautiful human with a great big purpose in life. I have a heart that’s fully committed to kindness and love.” Transformation must be approached with honesty and compassion for yourself.

Forget what diet companies tell you about guilt and shame. Wayne Dyer says, “Worrying is like saying little prayers for the things you do not want.” Stop worrying about your weight and start worrying about living out your dreams. Start thinking about how you’re going to take a step towards completing a lifelong goal that you’ve had. Maybe a goal you’ve always wanted, but you could never do because you felt like you were too big, or maybe, too old. Let the goal be something fun–with a focus outside of body image. And just go for it with an unbridled passion.

Let’s face it, a plus-size model talking about how to inspire “fat” people to change is a bit of a loose-footed situation. I’ve tried crossing that rocky, transformational bridge for over 10 years, and every time I tried, the rocks would slip from under my feet and I’d go tumbling down. And then I’d be stuck rebuilding, just so I could get back to where I started my journey. What if I told you that you don’t need to cross any bridge? That you don’t need to risk a fall to find happiness?

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Rogue Model Gets Radically Honest with Body Image (Inspiring Video!)

September 9, 2014
 

Never in a million years did I imagine that the fear of being radically honest about my violent journey with body image and being courageous enough to take my shirt off outside of the photo studio would birth an event that transformed the way we–and I–truthfully feel about body image.

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Confessions of a Binge Eater. How to Stop.

September 2, 2014
 

We are always at war with the truths that we are least comfortable with. Many times, and certainly in my own experience, hunger is something we constantly battle. The fewer calories we consume, the better. Three meals a day—no snacking in between meals. We are socially required to feel guilty after “splurging,” on a meal or dessert.

And then, when we follow these “food rules,” we can’t stand it anymore, we “binge” eat and then feel terrible about what we did. How could I have possibly eaten my way through an entire jar of almond butter? Did I seriously just eat the whole box of cereal? You’re totally not alone. In fact, I used to starve myself to the point where I was so hungry and malnourished that I would sleepwalk into the kitchen, eat the entire jar of peanut butter and the box of cereal—and whatever else I could get my hands on.

When questions about binge eating started popping up in my inbox, and in face to face interactions, I knew it was something that I needed to address. Even if it required going back in time and reliving the painful days where I never thought my life would be different; a life where starving and binging was almost all I ever thought about.

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I Went Topless And It Became My Business

August 26, 2014
 

Maybe you’re wondering why I’m going topless all the sudden. It wasn’t easy. In fact, terrifying would be the best way to describe taking my shirt off in a room full of athletic people.

The judgment I had towards my body was really defeating. I am bigger. I am not as defined, but I am strong. I have a pale stomach. Rolls appear when I sit up or scrunch towards my knees. My body–specifically my stomach–is not a pretty sight.

That’s when I knew I had to stop. Not a pretty sight? What was I thinking? I was going to spend my whole life worrying about my body if I didn’t do something bold enough to change my thinking. I was tired of feeling like I had to apologize for my body, keep my shirt on during extremely hot exercises to spare everyone the pain, and hide in the back corner of the locker room to change after a soul-filling sweat session.

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How To Live When You Know You’re Dying

August 19, 2014
 

I’m convinced that God, or the Universe, wanted me to take this spiritual and occasionally violent journey through my teens and 20’s, to look for my purpose–my key home. And what I found surprised me; I learned that I had the key the whole time. I just didn’t know how to use it.

I found what unlocked the door home for me—It was choosing to live. I started to make decisions like I had one week left. And life arrived on my doorstep without any more seeking.

When my 93 year old grandma from Queens bought a shirt with a big prick in the fabric, I didn’t understand why, until she said, “Aww who cares. I need a new shirt and I don’t know how much time I have left. It’s the last thing I’m worried about bubala.” I thought, well, who knows how much time any of us have left, really? I remember in that moment, thinking that I better start living like grandma Eve—she had it right. There’s a lot you can learn from people that see life like it’s one week away from the last chapter coming to a beautiful close.

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